Moving On With Life After Divorce

Life After Divorce

A divorce stands tall amongst life’s most monumental moments. Graduation, marriage, having a child, and divorce are all life-changing events that permanently alter the way that people’s lives function. When young teens, for instance, graduate high school, it is customary for them to leave their parent’s home and begin the journey through college. And when young couples marry, they usually purchase a home together and learn to coexist on a daily basis. Similarly, a divorce oftentimes requires that a man or woman completely rearrange their life. If you have just experienced a divorce, hopefully my guide will help you along your way to getting your life back in order.

Change in Residence

A divorce nearly always requires a change in residence for at least one ex-spouse. If you are the ex-spouse or parent destined to switch homes, then be prepared to acclimate yourself to a new home, new neighbors, and new surroundings. This can be especially frustrating for anybody who already lives near their job. Finding a new home might require seeking residence in a cheaper, more affordable home that may be much further away from work than you are used too. This therefore means either increased gas consumption or bus fees.

Change in Finances

Also be prepared to feel the strain on your wallet. Whereas you most likely split the bills and rent, you will now be forced to pay everything by yourself. It is annoying, but it is a fundamental aspect of moving on with your life. This can be awfully difficult for couples that have been together for a tremendously long time. It may even involve seeking out a second job to curtail the accumulation of new and unforeseen expenses. If you, for instance, move from a shared home into an apartment, be prepared to pay rent, electricity, gas, water, trash, phone, cable, and Internet bills. If your apartment doesn’t have a washer/dryer, also keep a stash of quarters available for laundry. If you are lucky, your ex-spouse may still let you use his or laundry equipment. Don’t assume that they will though.

Change in Attitudes

Did you and your wife enjoy entertaining neighbors and friends? Those same acquaintances may now attempt to avoid spending time and communicating with you. Oftentimes, this is because they themselves are not sure how to handle the divorce. Whereas spending time may have involved one or two evenings with both you and your wife, they are now forced to divide their time between the both of you. Or, they may choose to only maintain their friendship with your ex-spouse, and terminate the friendship they had with you. It is a sad circumstance, but it does occur.

Change in Parenting

I consider this the most difficult part of facing a divorce. Either you will be the parent to keep the children, or you will become a non-custodial parent with visiting rights.

Non-Custodial Parent

As a non-custodial parent, you will be issued visiting rights that define how and when you are to see your children. This basically means that you can’t see your children as often as you are used too. However, don’t assume that this somehow reduces your responsibilities and obligations as a parent. Oftentimes, in fact, the non-custodial parent becomes in charge of handling activities such as taking the children to school, picking them up, taking them shopping, taking them to the Doctor, etc. Furthermore, be prepared to partition some of your income for child support.

Custodial Parent

Life can be particularly difficult for a custodial parent. Although you may receive child support payments, it may not be enough to handle the increasing demands involved in child rearing. This may require getting a second job, hiring a baby-sitter, and/or seeking a financial loan from a bank or friends/family. Whatever the case, don’t be afraid to ask your divorced partner for assistance. It is still his or her duty to be a good parent, and that means being willing to go the extra mile for your children.

Both Parents

Whether you are the custodial parent or non-custodial parent, be prepared for a potential shift in your children’s attitude. At first, there may be a high degree of uneasiness and anxiety between you and your children. They may even blame and resent you or your ex-spouse for undergoing a divorce. Realize though that this is typically a temporary situation that will eventually pass. Your children are confused and angry. Your best bet is to sit down with them together (both you and your ex-spouse) and discuss the situation. Most importantly, make certain they realize that you both still love them very much.

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Divorce sucks. In fact, I wish couples didn’t divorce. I would rather they stay together and work out their conflicts. Unfortunately, some couples are just unable to resolve their differences. In such a case, a divorce may be the only option. No matter what the circumstances, it is evident that divorce is a life-changing event that can completely alter the way your life functions. It is a confusing and stressful situation that requires careful planning and wise-decisions to overcome. I hope I have been helpful today. I wish you the best of luck.

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